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Jane's Story of Healing
Last June, 2008, as I was packing up bulletin boards and crayons from my 34th
year of teaching kindergarten; I received a rather scary surprise from my
doctor. A lump I had discovered
in my breast was diagnosed as cancer.
It was my first clue that the upcoming vacation time was going to be
far from the “Just Let Go” experience I had been dreaming about all year.
As soon as the news of my illness got out, there was an
overwhelming response from those around me.
My church immediately put me under their umbrella of prayers.
My family gathered around with loving support.
Cards, chicken soup, messages, calls and offers of help came pouring
in. I even received a “Healed
by God” necklace that I carried everywhere.
On those shadowy days of doubt, confusion and weariness I could
always feel those beautiful people holding me up.
God’s goodness was ever present.
The months tiptoed by.
Besides the ensuing doctor appointments, needles, tests, biopsy’s,
Chemo sessions and radiation, there was also the waiting, waiting, waiting
in between for results and next steps.
There was one point, very close to Christmas when there was a
prognosis of cancer spreading to my lungs.
That scare turned into a prognosis of T.B. that turned into an easily
treatable small lung disorder.
This good news came on Christmas Eve.
God blessed us all. The
healing had begun!
When I really thought about what that phrase on my
necklace meant, “Healed by God” I was a little confused.
I had to admit that this healing experience from was awesome.
But my usual revelations from God were not the “proof” kind of drama
that some people have had. My
kind of improvement has always been the slow kind.
It grows out of learning how to communicate sincerely with Him and
develop the kind of patience to listen consistently for that still small
voice that only God knows how to use.
I believe God’s healing hand has been there for me all
my life. And it has not always
been health related. There have
been many special times that I have felt His strong presence and known His
grace filled touch. He has
healed me from fear and strengthened me with His courage.
He has surprised me with joy.
He has sent special people into my life when only their special
skills could have solved the overwhelming problems that surrounded me.
He has been with me through the “valley of shadows” as I said good-by
to a loving mother, a dear father and a wonderful husband.
He has laughed at my silliness.
He also would discipline me when I got too full of myself.
Through all of this He has been healing me.
His presence challenges me to grow daily in His love and wisdom.
So what did I learn from all of this?
How has my journey been improved?
What was God trying to reveal to me this time?
God’s desire is to have a loving and meaningful relationship with
each of us. He deserved our
undivided attention, our deep desire to love and adore Him, our constant
respect, our heartfelt gratitude, our trust and our patience to wait for His
answers. He is delighted with
our love and thankfulness.
First of all I found out that I was so busy doing
things for God that I didn’t have time to be with Him.
Our relationship had dwindled to Email messages instead of genuine
conversation. In my hurried
stress filled state, I had put God on a list with everything else.
My respect and profound admiration had become whimpy and lackluster.
I wasn’t paying attention!
It took the days of weakness and helplessness to remind me just who
was in charge and where my priorities needed to be.
Do you know where you look when you spend a lot of time laying in
bed? UP!
Secondly, I was losing the joyous quality of thankfulness.
I was taking for granted God’s continuing gifts, His grace and
forgiveness. And for all the
beauty He surrounds us with every day.
I had many treasures in His gifts of friendship.
I started to focus! I
became more and more aware of the blessings being poured out on me by those
around me. I had a wonderful
group of Christian friends and an equally dear family.
I could just feel their loving hands holding me up everyday and
night. Some of them would just
come and sit with me during chemo while I slept away in la la land.
Some of them would take notes during doctor’s visits and then
patiently explain to me afterwards what he was talking about.
How about cooking a meal for someone who thanks you by saying it all
tasted like paper towels. Ask
my sister, Nan. She will fill
you in on some of my less angelic qualities.
What a blessing they all were.
Thank you, thank you, to all my dear ones.
It has really been a joy to share my latest experience
with you. Maybe you can
identify with some of my misadventures.
Just remind yourself to slow down a little and enjoy all the free
gifts around you. God is so
Good!
Jane S.
March 18, 2009
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