Joke Medical Jewelry Gifts

Medical Jewelry engraving that’s so funny, you’ll laugh your As-pirin off.

At Sticky Jewelry we have engraved a lot of jewelry. I mean a LOT. And over the years we have seen a lot of crazy things that you, our brilliant customers, have come up with. Working with both personalized jewelry and medical jewelry makes our jobs a little more interesting because sometimes there is a little crossover. I’m talking about the ‘Gag’ / ‘fake’ / ‘joke’ medical jewelry. I worked as an engraver for many years, so between my memory and my survey of our other engravers we have come up with ‘the list’.

Without further delay, here’s The List of Top ‘Joke Medical Jewelry ‘.

Only administer mouth to mouth if you are cute.

This one works for both genders and really could be applicable to anyone. There’s a chance that some day you will need mouth to mouth, and who wouldn’t prefer one of the Grey’s Anatomy staff to be around when it happens?Coffee Medical Jewelry

If cranky, Add COFFEE!

Obvious. No explanation needed. I’m suffering from it right now. And the saying is so short, you could engrave it on almost any piece of medical alert jewelry.

Allergic to Bullsh**

This was one of my favorite to engrave! It’s a little crude, but in a world where people are becoming less and less trustworthy… life is short, so just be honest with yourself and others.

In need of true love’s kiss

Super cute saying! I’ve seen it on some of StickyJ’s more feminine pieces like beaded medical bracelets or our med ID necklaces.

Bad case of hobbit feet

This one is really funny for any Lord of the Rings fans. I would suggest getting this for a boy. Otherwise guys, you may get hit.

Warning: Extremely large…personality

We engraved one of these sayings just last month. It was on a medical alert dog tag, which is perfect because it would be noticeable and obvious right on your neck!                                                                                              p.s. the dog tag didn’t say personality.

If unconscious at Wal-Mart please drag my body to Neimans

I’ve seen this joke one only once or twice, but it is still a funny notion. It kind of plays on the whole ‘clear my: hard drive / history / cookies’, where if unconscious, you want friends to hide your secret or less than desirable behaviors. This saying is also a little more girly, and appropriate with sterling silver / gold plated medical jewelry.

Probably drunk

Short, sweet, and to the point; I love it! You could go for the more obvious college student recipient, or the ironic mommy / over-the-hill gift.

ALLERGIES: SUNLIGHT, GARLIC, HOLY WATER (just guess who this might be for)

With the Vampire trend still at a pretty high spike -pun intended- this is a funny, yet subtle, way to show the true darkness within.

Disney Medical Alert Bracelet

If I’m sad, please return me to Disney World.

Living in Florida, we have an overwhelming amount of Adult Disney lovers (you would think the novelty would’ve worn off being so close). This would be a great thing to engrave on a medical alert bracelet, especially if the gift came with a trip to Disney!

Approach with Caution. Administer Chocolate.

 There are a lot of things that chocolate can solve, I mean it has antioxidants. But this is obviously just for joke medical jewelry.


The only thing bigger than vampires right now are zombies. And for those who think (some more seriously than others), that the threat of Zombie Apocalypse is inevitable, this is just the joke medical jewelry saying for you!

RBF Awareness (resting bit** face)

 This is a very real, epidemic level condition. As a sufferer of resting bit** face, I am accused of being mean or uninterested all of the time! Judging people by their face is dangerous for those of us with RBF. I’m not mad, I want to hear what you’ve got to say, and of course I think you’re baby is adorable… This new video explains visually in a way I can’t with the written word alone.

Harry Potter Medical Bracelet
I know that this is Skelegrow, but we can pretend…

ICE: Madame Pomfrey & give Butterbeer

 For those of us who check the mail daily for our obviously overlooked letter from Hogwarts, this is both hilarious and a reminder of our true love- HP. It’s also appropriate for all ages, which makes it a perfect joke medical jewelry gift anytime.






If you do have a medical condition, these are of course not the right things to engrave for you. I also want to note that if you wear joke medical jewelry when you have a medical condition you are setting yourself up for trouble. Those of you with medical conditions aren’t left out! Here are some funny things to engrave if you really should be wearing a medical alert bracelet.

  • If I can’t breathe, you didn’t take my breath away! CALL 911!
  • My hearts only beats for my PACEMAKER!
  • My pancreas runs on batteries.
  • I am (insert your condition), and this is crazy. Call the number. NOW not maybe.

7 Comment

  1. Lisa Murdick says: Reply

    I am interested in one that says probably just Shit faced. Thanks

    1. Barry says: Reply

      Hi, Lisa. While it’s not recommended, there’s nothing that would stop you from purchasing a medical id with that inscription. Medical ids are available at

  2. joyce howe says: Reply

    Where can I get a medical bracelet that says Probably Just Shitfaced!

    1. Barry says: Reply

      Hi, Joyce. See the reply to Lisa’s post above.

  3. joyce howe says: Reply

    Where can I get a medical bracelet that says Probably Just Shitfaced

  4. Robyn says: Reply

    Can I buy these and have a joke engraved on it? Like ‘Probably Drunk’? And how much for engraving?

    1. Barry says: Reply

      Hi, Robyn. It’s not recommended, but there’s nothing that would stop you from purchasing a medical id with that inscription. 🙂

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